Wednesday, April 05, 2006
its funny how women, like me, and i believe, many others out there, can feel soo insecure about our men, no matter how much assurance they give us. I guess its has nothing to do with the assurance, trust or whatsoever. The root of the problem is, we are too afraid of losing the person we love. So its virtually impossible to rid all the insecurity in our hearts.
After talking to meiqi online today, i realise im not the only one with this problem. The difference btw the two of us is that, she can only get to see sean weekly(visit mq's blog).
But for me, i see Ron every single day, and spend time together everyday. Some couples might find us fortunate to have the chance to be together everyday, but, there is always pros and cons. Yeah, i dont have to miss my bf anymore, i can simply cross the bridge that links sengkang & pungol together within 10 mins and arrive at his doorstep, and there he is. Or we can meet at sengkang mrt to go to school together or else he can wait for me in school and go home together. In school, we can talk online and meet somewhere to have lunch, etc. Thats how we are seeing each other everyday. Its a routine that i look forward to everyday. BUT...this has kinda led to more conflicts btw us. As people always say, the more u see each other, the more conflicts you would have. Its true. All the little bickerings every now and then, and throwing tantrums(mostly me), im beginning to wonder maybe its a bad idea to see him everyday. I feel very tired whenever we bicker even though we know in the end, we will definitely be okay. So, then, why bicker in the 1st place? And quoting from mq's blog, " To him, he's just in a foul mood, but to me, i feel so useless not being able to lift up his spirits." Thats exactly how i feel when Ron ignore me or when he's grumpy. I feel useless and clueless. Like what have i done again or why cant i make him happy. And he doesnt know how much he mean to me until now. Maybe i am never expressive with my feelings to begin with. The thoughts in my mind always turn out to be totally opposite when it comes out of my mouth. I honestly dunno why i cant say what i want to. Issit pride, ego or what?
Ok, back to mugging stats.
Its taking a toll on me.
* A Love to kill * By Rain is damn phucking nice...anyone wanna borrow? Im so so addicted to it.
*georgiana* 
