waiting for you

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

No one understands how i feel...my heart feels so heavy that i can hardly breathe. Only in my sleep. But even in my sleep, i have nightmares. Maybe daddy is right, i shouldnt try to do so much now, except for studies. Dreams are only dreams. Perhaps this is all just a short-lived beautiful dream and reality is at the beck of my call now. Its time to wake up and do wad im supposed to do...dreams, arent supposed to be realised, are they? I feel like im going nuts soon. geo, where has your rationality gone?

I know you feel that i've changed.
I know this time, your heart really feels painful seeing me like that.
I know you are equally unhappy.
I know you prefer my old self, when im so confident about everything i do.
I know all these; but i have no energy to go back to the past.

I also want to be the same, at least i want to be happy and do what i really like. I also want to feel confident and be clear of myself.

Now i allow myself to slip into amnesia and embrace a brand new start. I will try very hard to be who i am again, and be happy.