waiting for you: May 2007

Monday, May 28, 2007

I dont know where to start.
I dont blame you for everything that stands in between us. Its never within our control.
I hate myself for not being able to give you solutions you need.
Cos' i dont know what i want anymore.
Too overwhelmed by what is ahead, and what might possibly happen to us. Im a selfish person; i want to be rational about everything. My mind is overpowering my heart as much as i dont want to.
I cant stop feeling negative towards the future.
I love you, but is this love enough to withstand everything? I have doubts about myself.
Im really happy to know that u wont put me at risk no matter what happens. It makes me learnt the fact that im so important to you. Im well aware of your feelings. Your circumstances. Your stress. Which is why i hate to be another source of your unhappiness and undue stress. You have so much to carry on your shoulders, im so afraid one day you might just collapse. I cant stand seeing you so weighed down by everything around you. I hate to tell you that this is a temporary solution. Its not that i dont want this badly, but my mind is in a twirl..i racked my brains over what can i give you to make you live an easier life. Thats really my intention no matter how hard i tried to explain to you, you dont seem to get my point. and where im coming from.

I love you, you know how much i need you to be with me...but at the same time, im pulling you back. and you cant move on.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Marcus is going NS. And my emo mum is very upset.
Cos she cant send her precious son to tekong...clashes with my dad's company reopening ceremony. How unlucky. She blame my dad for arranging the ceremony on that day...my poor dad. Also at a loss.
Luckily there is ME & JM...to the rescue. We are accompanying my mum over to the Tekong so that she can see him off, while my dad is busy entertaining ppl at the ceremony. There's still about 1 month to the enlistment date...but i think my little mother is feeling so upset already. Sighs. For me i dunno whether to feel happy or sad...cos finally my dad has shifted over to the newly built factory, and they are gonna make it a big event, inviting everyone for the opening...but at the same time, my brother is starting his NS life. We will definitely feel wierd and sad without him around, esp on our family days. ;(

On a happier note, ISETAN PRIVATE SALE is here AGAIN! haha...despite my hella busy schedule...i managed to squeeze few hrs out to reserve all the items im gonna buy! ;) Yup yup...no matter how busy i am, how can i miss a sale?! Even though i totally agree with min about how our mind keep thinking of the pile of unfinished LRH or MDS work lying around...always at the back of our minds! For me, i still have my advertising module...freak. I have a show and tell ppt this friday which clashes with my quiz. Great. On top of that, i have a final advertising mini cooper ppt on nx wednesday...argghhh. Summer term just love clashing everything together in the span of 1 month. Busy busy busy. But i will handle it...this is what i told jm. No matter how f**king stress i am, i will handle it myself...my complexion is gonna reflect the stress im undergoing again. AHHHH...thats like the most expensive tradeoff for stress.

Oh, but im v v happy that my sale items are almost cleared! Yay! Only left a few items...lucky! Really must thanks all mds loyal supporters. My walk in wardrobe are really getting a little cramp nowadays...so im glad that i cleared 2 bags of old stock which in my eyes, i really think they are lovely and nice apparels! They should be sold when i released them eons ago!

Few more days to my cruise trip! ENDURE, geo! ;)

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Im officially 22 yrs old now. I had a really fun and lovely b'dae celebration with my closest friends and jiaming during the last weekend! For once, i was MDS, family, smu FREE for the whole 2 days, 100% recuperating from my fever that bugged me for almost 1 week. Luckily i recovered in time to party! ;)

First it was ktv, drinking and playing cards @ Rain. Den it was clubbing at Double O. I was really busy entertaining all my friends! But i still have sometime to sing...haha, how can i ever forget abt this! Oh its Bimbo & Himbo theme...but apparently, my crazy friends really belong to 2 diverse categories...some came in unknown and unrecognised attires that totally dont adhere to my theme...but some really rocks! And deserve some credits from me! ;) Like Shihui who totally look like a bimbo from her dressing top to bottom! Thanks babe for dressing up for me!!! ;) But the ultimate BIMBOS award really gotta go to my 2 galfrens, Tingli & qimin. WHY? Becos they are really the ultimate BIMBOS. Inside out. haha especially ting. My god, recalling how she talks still make my hair stand! And ting, thanks for singing birthday song in SO MANY COUNTLESS languages! haha that was really sweet of ya! ;) And it was simply hilarious!

I really wanna thank everybody for giving me such a sweet bdae celebration, i felt so blissed and happy! Of cos, i wont forget my man who's with me everyday last week cos i was so sick. He took care of me everyday...nagged and scolded at me when i keep insisting on replying emails, do postage stuff and keeping myself busy for god knows wad. He sweetly volunteered to wrap all the postage stuff for me, fed me pills, tuck me in and went home. Even though i was "BLUR" for those few days, but i was happily sick. ;) And of cos tt moment at rain...while i was playing cards with frens at the other table, i suddenly heard a familar voice singing yong bang's song "ni shi wo zhui shen ai de nu ren"...me being me, i tried to act cool and nonchalent when i know my heart suddenly beat v fast and my face was actually flushing. Darling, im always touched by your voice, u know that. Thats THE STRATEGY to make me happy. I cant help but feel tt i love this man alot. Cos i can totally feel his heart when he's singing this song to me. Thanks for everything dear! Yes yes im touched!

Before i forget, i wanna thank everybody for the presents! To my poly frens, u girls really know me WELL! Yes yes i love Vera Wang to bits! Thanks for the perfume and body lotion, i really smell like a "princess" after applying them! hahaha. And jill, your bf is funny. haha

Thanks shihui for getting me such a nice color cardigan from GG5! Another of my fav brands if u do shop with me...haha i only go for these few brands, cos they have my size!!! ;) Thank dearie, i love the cardi! ;)

And not forgetting the couple, who got me bikini from topshop! Haha thanks eunice and cas, they came just in time for my cruise trip on the 18th! Time for some sun...im really getting transparent these days! Love the floral bikinis! ;)

Last but not least, how can i forget my LAST present which i only got to receive on the actual day back home...from Jiaming! MY AGNES B BAGGGGGGGIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I love IT LIKE CRAZY! Been using it non-stop for the past few days, its gorgeous and functional, thanks dar! Love ya!! and the present! ;)

You see...not only girls have the ability to act cute, guys can do it equally WELL too. Cheers to Collin & jm! ;)

The X-rated couple. But we still love them!

Ting performing different renditions of birthday song to me!! Yay!

Jiaming's turn to dedicate a love song to me. heh. Love to hear him sing!!

Not-so-bimbo Meiqi & me! ;)

Before we left for rain...snapping shots in Grand Corpthorne! I was glad i recovered FINALLY!!! ;) I dolled up like a subtle bimbo who looks high maintenance and did i say i just LOVE FUSCHIA PINK!!

Kudos to ting. She's the real bimbo.

random shots while jm is singing, i burst out luffing..dunno why. Cant remember.

Sometimes a guy also wish that he can be Ms Singapore ONE FINE DAY.

He stole the crown qimin bought for me!!

Finally, im taller by few cm.

In the midst of singing dunno which language bdae song!

Thanks guys! I had a wondeful time that time!