waiting for you: what's left

Monday, May 28, 2007

I dont know where to start.
I dont blame you for everything that stands in between us. Its never within our control.
I hate myself for not being able to give you solutions you need.
Cos' i dont know what i want anymore.
Too overwhelmed by what is ahead, and what might possibly happen to us. Im a selfish person; i want to be rational about everything. My mind is overpowering my heart as much as i dont want to.
I cant stop feeling negative towards the future.
I love you, but is this love enough to withstand everything? I have doubts about myself.
Im really happy to know that u wont put me at risk no matter what happens. It makes me learnt the fact that im so important to you. Im well aware of your feelings. Your circumstances. Your stress. Which is why i hate to be another source of your unhappiness and undue stress. You have so much to carry on your shoulders, im so afraid one day you might just collapse. I cant stand seeing you so weighed down by everything around you. I hate to tell you that this is a temporary solution. Its not that i dont want this badly, but my mind is in a twirl..i racked my brains over what can i give you to make you live an easier life. Thats really my intention no matter how hard i tried to explain to you, you dont seem to get my point. and where im coming from.

I love you, you know how much i need you to be with me...but at the same time, im pulling you back. and you cant move on.